"...pray without ceasing"

"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men.  I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full...And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words"

-Matthew 6: 5&7

I have gotten into the habit recently of reading multiple books all at the same time.  Currently these are the three books I am working through:

 

Deep reading I know.  One is for Seminary, one is for staff development at the church, and one is for me and my curiosity when it comes to "christian living" especially in the faith context of my generation.  

Today I was reading the Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel.  This is a really cool book. Very easy to read and to relate to.  I was reading the chapter called "When you Believe in God but Not in Prayer".  This chapter really hit me because I have been one who puts prayer last.  I'll find myself on a prayer high, really starting those conversations with God, and then others where I'll go weeks without praying.  This is the quote that got me, "But even when you don't see the results of your prayrs around you, you may still sense Go's loving presence as you grow to know him.  I've learned that any genuine communication to God may or may not change what God does, but your prayer will often change your heart or perspective.  Prayer reminds you that you're not in control and keeps you close to the one who is".

I am not in control.  I am not in control of where Stacia and I will be in 2 years after our contract in HK is up.  I am not in control of what is going to happen at HS winter camp in a week.  I am not in control of who will win the Super Bowl.  As much as I'd like to be, I'm not in control of what is going to happen tomorrow.  I have an idea of what might happen tomorrow, but in reality only God does.  

How many times have I sit and prayed and not received anything?  Yet I am still coming back to this God that holds my heart so close.  In November, Stacia was to be interviewed by another school in china.  This was an exciting time, the first interview at a school we were familiar with, and had contacts with.  In praying over the interview, I felt the overwhelming feeling that we weren't going to be working at that school.  I prayed that it would be the right fit, so all of the stress and anxioty would go away.  2 weeks after the interview they said that Stacia was great, but they went with someone else.  3 weeks after that we visited the school and some of the staff and God confirmed why we weren't supposed to be there.   

I was trying to convince myself that the voice in my heart was wrong.  Trying to hide the feeling of not getting that position deep within me so that we would receive the position.  I prayed that the message God was sending me was worng.  I prayed to God that God would be wrong.  God was right, and we are headed to the place we are called.  

Groeschel says, "Admittedly, when prayer becomes an empty, meaningless ritual, it is boring.  but when you remember who you're talking to when you acknowledge that the God of the universe is honestly, truly excited to hear from you that truth alone will change your attitude toward prayer.  Move the focus from yourself onto God. That's the beginning of making prayer fresh and exciting.  Even fun!  Then prayer is like talking to a close friend with whom you can share your heart, your fears and your dreams.  Then, suddenly, instead of a lifeless one way conversation, prayer with the Father becomes exhilarating."

I was praying with a focus on me, not on God.  

huh.